Of Trauma & Miracles

I’d like to share a crazy story from my family’s not so distant past. Although I know I am not my story, I feel there’s an important lesson to share about the power of love and intention.

In July 2014 I was six months pregnant with our son. My husband was training for a 24-hour mountain bike race with his team in the Canadian Rockies and one poor choice changed our lives forever. He took a jump in the terrain park and came crashing down to the earth, breaking his neck.

I remember the doctor saying that it was a miracle that his spinal cord didn’t sever as he rag dolled to a stop on the hill.

After getting life-flighted off the mountain and back into the city I was able to see the damage. His fractured C3 vertebrae left him paralyzed on his left side and wrenched in pain. He was soon headed into emergency surgery where they placed 2 rods, 1 plate, and 8 screws into his spine essentially fusing C3 and C4. 

The hours, weeks and months that followed the biggest trauma in our lives were both trying—and I have to say— miraculous.

The first day after surgery was the hardest. Our family was in route to us but I was alone feeding Josh ice chips as he agonized in pain. In those moments, I had a glimpse of a probable outcome of my life.

I could be feeding my quadriplegic husband with one hand while feeding the baby with the other.

I was quick to knock that crap out of my head! I would not let myself, (nor Josh) walk down that train of thought.

Even with the excruciating 9/10 pain level, and dirt and dried blood in his hair from the traction device they used to attempt to reset his spine, he knew that the only thing he could control were his thoughts. And the only thing I could do was maintain unconditional love and support him in holding as high a vibration as possible so he could heal. 

I helped him to begin and end each day with gratitude. (A habit we both still practice daily.) We practiced embodying visualizations of him lifting our son above his head and being able to do all the things a father should be able to do.  

I read all the Facebook posts, prayers and good vibes that were streaming in from around the world. I wrote the names of everyone who sent their love on a whiteboard right in his view so he would be reminded of all the people that love him and the good times they’ve spent together. Anything to keep him thankful and hopeful. The love and support from friends, family and medical professionals no doubt saved his life, and mine for that matter.

I don’t know if he got the medication in the double-blind clinical trial, or if the crystal distant healing session worked, but...

I know that we cashed in some karma and experienced a miracle.  

I truly believe that the combination of Western emergency care and a holistic Eastern mind/body approach to healing enabled our story to be the 1% of cases the doctors’ describe as being “nothing short of a miracle!” I’ll take it! In my heart, I trusted that he would be ok. He had to be ok; my son needs his daddy.

My focus throughout this crazy time was really to take care of myself and our baby first. I was trying to stay in the present moment to hold it together and keep any stress out of my body.

I let our parents stay the night at the hospital so I could get a good night’s rest. I allowed myself to be outside in the sunshine and let my dad cook the meals and walk the dog. I didn’t have to do it all. I took forgiveness bubble baths and visualized our family playing together on the beach in San Diego. (Which is where we ended up moving months later!)

Three months later, Josh pushed on my hips during every contraction & hid his grimaces of pain in his neck and shoulders so I could birth our beautiful little boy into the world. He arrived naturally, in the tub and only 45 minutes after my mom flew in from California!

I’ll never forget those deep starry-blue eyes and how he clasped daddy’s finger. And now he’s almost two years old, I don’t understand how I can continue to love him more and more each day. It probably has something to do with how much I love and almost lost Josh. Some things are not meant to be understood with the mind, those matters reside in the heart.

I don’t think we’re supposed to understand miracles, just appreciate them. I’m filled with so much gratitude each and every day. I take extra care to savor the moments of my love playing with our son, especially knowing that it was so close to being so bad.

I revel in his courage to do the work, his faith that it will be alright, and his strength in being my rock.

Life is miraculous and fragile. And even though this was a traumatizing event, we didn’t want it to debilitate us for the rest of our lives. So for our 5th wedding anniversary, we took a leap of faith and went skydiving together!

I feel like his accident was a huge wake-up call. Maybe it means we should be more careful & stop doing things we once loved. Or maybe it means we should listen to that inner voice guiding us in the right direction. I wish Josh would have heard that voice that day.

Right now, mine is telling me, it’s time to stop playing small. Life is too short. It’s time for big impact and to share my gifts with the world. Maybe I can help to shift this world toward love and appreciation. Maybe our story will inspire others to make positive change now, before they hit the ground so hard and it's too late.

With much love and gratitude,